A Letter to My Parents..

I write a lot of things, but I don't often write to or about my parents.
I think about them a lot. When I was going to Haiti, I had to stay the night in a Ft. Lauderdale hotel that was freezing, and even though I hadn't slept the night before, and even though my flight had landed after mid-night, and we had to get up at like 5 a.m. to go back to the airport;
I still insisted on staying up to re-pack my bag.
So I did, and in about the middle of my bag there were two letters.
One from my mom, and one from dad.
The one from mom talked about how proud my grandmother would be, and how proud she is of me.
The one from dad talked about being proud, and how people I meet will remember the young American girl who came to love.

I don't want to be a parent.  ever.
I mean, I don't want to have my own kids. I really don't.
I'm starting to realize, the call Paul made to stay single and go into the world, is one I have received.

But anyway, my parents are different.
I mean, I was a weird kid. I was crazy shy, then I was a star-student and athlete, then I was depressed and suicidal, then I was a party girl, then I decided I want to be a full-time missionary and leave America.
Okay, well, in my defense, I always knew I wanted to live in Africa, but I don't think it was ever really that serious until I went to Ecuador.
But anyway, I mean, how would you handle that as a parent?!

How would you feel knowing your child finally got better, and wasn't wanting to die every day, and now she wants to move somewhere where she might be killed any day?
I don't know. They're stronger than I am!

I don't ever want to be a parent, at least, not having my own biological kids.

I don't have a lot of words to give to my parents to say how greatful I am that they didn't raise me like my friends parents did, cause it would have never worked..

But I just want my parents to know and to remember, that wherever I may be, and wherever I may go, I will always be theirs.

Peace to you today,
Dorothy.
9.17.13