Today..

So this morning I woke up, and did my normal Sunday thing.

Yesterday at the UMW meeting the older women in the church went for my idea of a missions committee and basically, what we are doing is every year partnering with one mission here in Valencia county, and one overseas like Respire Haiti, or Oswaldo and Deniese. And I’m super excited cause I was elected I guess you could to be the leader of it, but to me, I need to give more each day.

Just volunteering for something, no matter how big of a commitment it may be, is not enough.

And today I was praying that someone would cross my path somehow, or I would cross their path, and I could help. In some small way.

I wanted to feel that closeness to God that I haven’t felt in months, and that only comes through serving his children.

As you may know, I am in the process of selling everything I own on Ebay, and moving to Rwanda after college, and today a lady sent me an offer on some jeans and begged me to accept her offer. I did, and she offered me some money on a few other things.

She started messaging me things like, “I pray these jeans fit.” And “I need clothes!!”

She is a single mother who lives back east where it actually gets snow in the winter, and I don’t know what that’s like, but if I didn’t have jeans, there would be many pity parties in the snow.

But anyways, she started telling me about how she puts all her money to bills and then she only has about $20 at the end of the month to spend on her and her daughter.

I immediately thought, “Hey, I’m selling a few more pairs of jeans. I can end those items, and send them to her too. She needs them more and God will provide for me.”

So I ended a few more sales, and for the extra $10 shipping, I sent her two more pairs of jeans, 3 more shirts, and a letter with $36 to spend on her and her daughter.

She has saved for 5 months to buy one pair of jeans and two tops..

I don’t know what that might feel like.

I’ve never lived paycheck to paycheck. In fact, I’m extremely wealthy compared to where I will soon call home.

I guess this is a story of how faithful God is.

All day, I was asking like a little kid for someone I could help, just so I could feel that closeness to God again. He is what I long for, always.

I guess that’s why raising donations are so important to missionaries, because once you get to the point where you are begging to give yourself away, giving your income, food, and clothing is not that much of a sacrifice. But you still need the funds. But through family, and friends, God always provides.

I don’t know what it feels like to not eat for three days.

I don’t know what it feels like to long for a pair of jeans in the winter time.

I don’t know what no roof over my head might feel like, and I really don’t know the sting of not being able to feed my children.

I just want to be there for anyone who is feeling that. Here is America, and anywhere I go.

I don’t ever again want to close my eyes, ears and hands to the oppressed and the poor.

I don’t ever want to find out what living for a job, or a raise, or a man feels like. Unless that man is Jesus.

I want to feel life and life abundantly, and that will cost me everything..

If this is my cross, then this is me picking it up.

Peace to you,

10.20.13.